Special Toy
by Tailsdoll123
Summary: "I know you're up to something! Clone 2 had that same look before he put me in front of these evil BEEP clowns! Mr Slave-Bunny had that look too, when he broke Mon Sticky Friend and Mon Sticky Friend two! I'm on to you, like Willy Wonka!"-Oh Alex, for once we wish that you were in the right state of mind. OcxTwins


**A/N: Dedicated to Moonlightpheonix-xX while the idea was inspired by Kaname1993. I hope you guys like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice**

**Claim: Alex belongs to me, as well as Mon Sticky Friend 5.**

**Summary: Dee and Dum decide to show Alex their room, however they didn't expect her to be so obsessed with their weapons. Jealousy sets in when they realize that she'd rather look at weapons then play with them.**

**Rated T for a little swearing~!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Special Toy-**

It was a fine day in Autumn at the Hatter Mansion and once again we see the Twins dragging a dirty-blonde haired girl away from a ticked off Blood.

It seemed their new foreigner, who went by the name Alex, had gotten it into her head that Blood was in fact gay and thus dubbed him 'Homosexual Blood.'

Of course after singing a song to Blood, in hopes he would 'confess his feelings' to Elliot, it was probably a good idea to keep Alex away from Blood.

Still that never stopped her from saying it.

See unlike Alice, Alex is what you would say 'not right in the head,' you could compare her to a female Ace except at least Ace can be serious and threatening. Alex is just the insane moron that needs to be put in a straight jacket.

Her best friend was a stick called Mon Sticky Friend 5, the first four had terrible deaths-the first two were killed by Peter White, resident white rabbit and the other two were killed by Ace, resident psycho.

Anyway, back to the story, the twins decided that they would show their 'precious Alex' their room. Although last time they almost killed the last foreigner who entered their room, they learned from it in time.

This time they would try the axe on Alex.

"Alex! This is our room," Dee explained proudly, arriving at the door that said 'Do not Open Unless You want Painful Death.'

"We want to show you it!" Dum said afterwards, pushing her towards the door.

"I don't know guys, doors are evil. The last one I opened turned towards me instead and hit me. Stupid door." Alex responded, patting her nose for emphasis.

The twins pouted at her, "please! We promise this door won't hit you."

Alex grinned, patting them both on the head, causing them to lean into her touch. "Aw you guys are so sweet, like banana and custard. Hmm, if I do go in this room, will there be something awesome in there? Because I'm allergic to boring stuff."

The twins grinned before opening the door. Alex stepped in and literally dropped to the floor.

"This place….IS HEAVEN!" She shouted, looking in awe at all the weapons in the room. Some were guns, some were melee and most of them had blood on them. But Alex did not care because the fact that she was surrounded by things that could cause people to bleed made her happy.

"So many guns! The people back in my world would never let me near a place like this!" She squealed, running over to the couch, sitting down, and telling Mon Sticky Friend 5 about how fantastic the place was.

All the while Dee and Dum stared at her happily. Their Onee-chan, Alice, didn't like the weapons in the room but their friend seemed to be having a hard time deciding whether to breathe or talk about guns.

Of course after a while of Alex doing nothing but petting guns and laughing sometimes, the twins began to feel an odd emotion. It came from seeing Alex so intently obsessed with the item in her hand.

Then it snapped in the young boys minds,

Jealousy.

_Their_ Alex was more interested in the killer items then she was of the twins. They were used to her randomly sprouting nonsense before grabbing them and running away. But here she was, not even glancing at them!

That had to change.

So skilfully, the twins crept over to Alex and sat next to her on both sides of the couch. Alex noticed and put down the guns before a goofy smile appeared on her face.

"I forgot you guys were there~! What can I help you with?"

That added to their annoyance because _their_ Alex was to focused on massacres then them. They had to be careful with their plan though, because they had heard that the stupid knight had done the same thing and ended up scaring Alex away.

They didn't want to scare her away.

A foreigner was precious because unlike everyone else in Wonderland, they had a heart. Because of this everyone loves the foreigner. The last foreigner barely paid attention to Dee and Dum's love attempts on them, saying they were too young.

Alex didn't care because frankly she didn't actually notice the rules.

So back on with their epic task to make Alex notice them, both the twins smiled innocently.

Alex's eyes narrowed.

"I know you're up to something! Clone 2 had that same look before he put me in front of these evil bastard clowns! Mr Slave-Bunny had that look too, when he broke Mon Sticky Friend and Mon Sticky Friend two! I'm on to you, like Willy Wonka!"

To prove she was serious, she pointed at her eyes then at the twins. She then picked up MSF 5 and babbled about how good it would be to see Mr Mouse and Mr Kitty.

The twins pouted again because Alex was talking about other people then them there!

"Ready?" Dee asked, grabbing Alex's attention.

"Huh-what are you-"

"Go!" Dum replied before both of the twins leaned in and kissed Alex on the cheek.

It was super effective! She was instantly paralyzed.

Dee smirked, "Phase two!"

Dee then grabbed her cheek and kissed her on the mouth while Dum kissed along her collarbone.

Alex was still frozen but her mind was working on overdrive.

'_AGH! THEY'RE GIVING ME COOTIES LIKE BEST BUDDY ACE DID! I'M GOING TO BECOME INFECTED! I FORGOT TO TAKE MY ANTI-BOYS KISSING MEDICINE! I FEEL LIKE DYING! OMG, MY SKIN IS ON FIRE! NEED WATER!'_

Alex thought she would be saved and able to get a glass of water when Dee moved away from her lips, licking his slightly but then they switched positions and now Alex had to deal with Dum's lips on hers while Dee kissed her neck.

We should all take a moment of silence, because it seems with her skin on 'fire' and the twins giving her 'cooties', Alex had fainted under the pressure.

…

Okay, silence over!

"Brother, she fainted!" Dum whined, shaking the unconscious teen.

"At least we managed to kiss her!" Dee cheerfully said.

Both of them grinned before snuggling up to Alex. Falling asleep to her heart beat.

Ah what a nice ending….

….And then Alex ruined it by waking up, grabbing Mon Sticky Friend 5 before running away screaming about cooties. Dee and Dum grumbled but couldn't help snigger when they heard her talking to the Stupid Blonde Chickie Rabbit.

"Oh Goldilocks! Has Homosexual Blood confessed his feelings yet?"

"~Sigh~ Alex…Blood isn't gay."

"….."

"…."

"…."

"…Alex?"

"…You dirty liar! ~Slap~"

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**Oh poor Elliot, getting slapped by Alex.**

**Anyway, this would have probably been after Alex sang her 'gay song' to Blood but It looks nice on it's own. This is before Mon Sticky Friend five was killed.**

**For those of you who are confused, Alex is from 'Insane is My Middle Name' and now to help you:**

_Homosexual Blood-Alex's nickname for Blood_

_Goldilocks-Alex's name for Elliot_

_Mr Kitty-Alex's name for Boris_

_Mr Mouse-Alex's name for Pierce_

_Adorable Twins-Alex's nickname for Dee and Dum_

_Best Buddy Ace-Alex's name for Ace_

_Mr Slave-Bunny-Alex's name for Peter_

_Clone 2 and 3-Alex's name for White Joker and Black Joker_

_Cooties-In IIMMN Ace kissed Alex and Alex still believes kissing will give you cooties._

_Skin on Fire-Alex does not feel embarrassment nor would she recognize blushing, period._

_Mon Sticky Friend-Alex always finds a stick and gives it that name. Somehow they always break though._

**If you liked this, check out 'Insane Is My Middle Name' for more craziness from Alex!**

**R&R**

**-Tailsdoll123**


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